Last week I wrote about the idea that I found most interesting in the comments that critics of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints had made about the recent LDS general conference. Had I waited a few more days, my focus may have been entirely different, so I’m writing an extra post this week to discuss my concerns about two recent Facebook posts, or more specifically the comments that were left on these posts.
First, a sarcastic post from a prominent critic showed up on my feed, mocking Elder Cordón’s message. I really enjoyed this address, in which he spoke of a difficult time in his childhood. He had overheard his parents questioning whether to pay their tithing, knowing that doing so wouldn’t leave them enough money to feed their children. Elder Cordón became emotional as he spoke appreciatively of the blessings he and his family had received and the lessons they had learned when his parents faithfully paid their tithing.
As someone with a strong testimony of the law of tithing, it didn’t occur to me that something alarming had been said. Once alerted to it, I could understand how someone with a different viewpoint could construe the message in an entirely different way. What I saw as reliance on and trust in God, others saw as complete idiocy. While I heard a lovely message of devotion from a humble servant of God, others heard a greedy corporation manipulating unsuspecting victims into sending a wealthy church their money at the expense of starving children. While I don’t agree with their assessment, I hope that I always become more empathetic as I attempt to see another’s viewpoint.
My greater concern wasn’t that they had an opinion so opposed to mine, but with how it was expressed. The original post was merely sarcastic, but the comments on it went much further. They accused the parents of child abuse, and the church of teaching evil doctrines. They ridiculed church members and mocked their sacred beliefs. There appeared to be no effort by the site’s owner to keep the conversation civil.
I couldn’t help but consider how Christ had been reviled and His Christian followers martyred. History and scripture are full of examples of those who were persecuted for their beliefs. In comparison this was pretty minor. I didn’t even have to read what they had written. After all it was my choice to click on the original post and read the comments. In fact I could block every person on Facebook who doesn’t see the world in exactly the same way I do, or I could stay off social media completely.
The second post showed up on my feed shortly after the first. This one was written by someone who opened her post by going to great lengths to assure readers that she was an all-in, true believing Mormon. She then said that—and I’m paraphrasing a lot here, summarizing a long and thoughtful post in one sentence—she noticed that there had only been one female speaker during the four general sessions of conference, she wished she had been able to hear more women’s voices, and hoped that more sisters would be included in the future.
There were so many comments that while I read hundreds, I’ll admit that I didn’t get to them all. To her credit, it appeared that the original poster not only read every comment, but attempted to reply to each in a gracious and thoughtful way. Most of the comments were kind and civil, and I appreciated that. Still, I found some that seemed snarky or condescending, and that others contained personal attacks. These were not from critics of the church, but from members who seemed to believe that they possessed a higher level of righteousness. I hope I misunderstood; it’s certainly possible. I don’t personally know any of the people involved, but the feeling I got was that some of the commenters were criticizing the author of the original post for questioning the brethren. One even advised that such questions should be handled with the stake president, as if suggesting that asking such a simple question might be moving toward apostasy. The harsh tone, that some of the commenters used with each other, was so disappointing.
Even though the response to this second post had been generally courteous—in contrast to the overwhelmingly nasty replies to the first—I was more troubled by incivility when it came from members of the church. I feel that in the same way that just a few snide comments can taint an entire conversation, a few thoughtless members can drive people away from the fold. I love that term, the fold, which stimulates thoughts of shelter and care. There may be predators outside, but all that desire to come to the Good Shepard should feel safe inside.
I feel a change happening within the LDS Church, starting at the top and hopefully distilling down to each of us. This sift is particularly evident in President Uchtdorf’s talk given in a 2013 session of conference.
In this address President Uchtdorf articulates many wise thoughts. I want to highlight just three.
- He reaches out to those who disagree with him.
In this Church that honors personal agency so strongly, that was restored by a young man who asked questions and sought answers, we respect those who honestly search for truth. It may break our hearts when their journey takes them away from the Church we love and the truth we have found, but we honor their right to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their own conscience, just as we claim that privilege for ourselves.
- He acknowledges that questioning can be justified, because even church leaders can make mistakes.
And, to be perfectly frank, there have been times when members or leaders in the Church have simply made mistakes. There may have been things said or done that were not in harmony with our values, principles, or doctrine.
I suppose the Church would be perfect only if it were run by perfect beings. God is perfect, and His doctrine is pure. But He works through us—His imperfect children—and imperfect people make mistakes.
- He explains that questioning can be constructive.
Sometimes there is a difference of opinion as to what the “facts” really mean. A question that creates doubt in some can, after careful investigation, build faith in others.
I appreciate President Uchtdorf’s message and recognize his efforts to follow the Savior who was the ultimate example of concern and compassion for all. This is underscored as He implores, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.
Not only did our Savior demonstrate a complete willingness to submit to the will of the Lord, but he also left a pattern for asking questions. In the garden he prayed, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. Again, while on the cross Jesus cried, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
Surely, we need to be gentler in our responses to others—particularly to those who criticize, those who question, or those who struggle. After all, isn’t that all of us?
